Internally and interpersonally. We don’t want to know when we’re down. We cover it up. We engage in activities that take our mind off what’s eating us up.
We block each other from expressing feelings which are somber and dark. My guess is because we don’t know how to cope with these feelings ourselves.
Interpersonally, we encourage each other to get over it, to snap out of it, to suppress. Anything, just don’t share because I don’t really know how to solve your unhappiness.
I read once that women have trouble relating with men because while a woman wants to share and express her frustrations, a man feels the need to offer a solution so that things can be normal again.
But this isn’t only an inter-gender issue. We have a general discomfort with listening to someone for the sake of hearing them out. It’s difficult to take on someone else’s pain. It is.
Making us even more hesitant to share our feelings because we know our nakedness isn’t welcome. Hey, you’re making me uncomfortable. Stop. We need therapists to talk to because we don’t know how to listen.
Anxiety, sadness, anger, fear and helplessness. There is no solving these feelings away. They are what makes us human, what makes us understand each other, I would say.
A couple years ago, I had this opening, an expansion in my heart. I began writing poems about a wave of feelings I was experiencing – of love, of fearlessness, of infinity of consciousness. These poems were popular with my Facebook friends. The messages were uplifting. “Positive”.
No one asked me though, hey how did you find yourself in this state of heart. How did you arrive here – feeling love and expansion of consciousness. An open heart. Why, I came from a place of lower emotions such as jealousy, guilt, anger, fear, and doubt.
After my expansion, I tried to share my introspection into the darker side of us and people’s reaction was, hey cheer up. Life’s not bad. Where did your love poems go. Well, they’re still here in my heart. But so are other things which we shouldn’t cover up. And which we shouldn’t so hastily discard.
One of my friends on social media said that our fears hold secrets about us. I found this idea intriguing, and true. The more we seek to become comfortable with ourselves in our totality – our fear as well as our courage – our sorrow as well as our joy – the more we can come out and be who we truly are – we become inegrated, authentic beings who don’t run, hide, and suppress.
Pain and sorrow are a part of us, just as joy and happiness are. Maybe there is no need to find a solution next time. Maybe listening will suffice. And a deep breath. Holding it, sets us back. While breathing through our frustrations and fears releases us from parts we have secretly hidden away.